Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
Proverbs 31:23 New International Version
Sitting at the city gate back then was the goal of every man. It meant that he was respected enough to help judge the court cases of his community and had the leisure time from his responsibilities to stay away from them for hours a day. But a Proverbs 31 husband should never forget the importance of a Proverbs 31 wife.
Beside Every Proverbs 31 Husband Is His Wife
“Behind every successful man, is a woman.” I’m not sure who’s credited with saying that, but it’s been said a few times. The saying tends to mean that the woman is the plan and the man is simply the face, but I want to use it slightly differently. A man had a lot of responsibilities back then. The stereotypical wife in the Bible raised the kids and maintained the household while the man made the decisions and provided for the family. (The Bible clearly shows a number of successful women, but I don’t know enough about historical life to make a less general example. Proverbs 31 is telling us to go against this stereotype and bring in money for the family too, but just bear with me for this example.) The only way the head of the household could have been away for hours on end, repeatedly, would be if he was confident that nothing would need his immediate answer while he was gone.
He was so confident in his wife’s ability to manage the household and day to day questions in their businesses that he left it all in her care long enough for him to be in politics.
His Wife Is Respected
How many men are called “poor” because of who their wife is? It’s not just wives who spend a lot of money, but also ones with a temper or wives who “let themselves go.” A wife who causes problems makes her husband spend time fixing her problems. If a man picks a problematic wife, it makes all his decisions questionable. Only if his wife is respected and responsible could a man be respected and have leisure time to help lead the city justice and politics.